i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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