fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
