with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
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Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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