It's like God shit irony all over that family
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
