Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
