After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
