Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
