even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
