Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
