a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
