is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize