What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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