at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The maid of honor just puked.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
