If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
