I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
