Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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