I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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