so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
