he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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