Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize