I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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