My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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