I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
