Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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