Whoa Z and x make the same sound
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
