He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Every concussion has its silver lining
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
