I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
