How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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