three words: i give head
three words: not that well
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize