Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
