What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
