i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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