im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
