is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
