Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
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I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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