I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Every concussion has its silver lining
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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