well I can't set my house on fire every night
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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