a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
