His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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