Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
