..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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