Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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