i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
