dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
