I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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