you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
