Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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