I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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