Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
