you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
