It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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