Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
