So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize