It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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