Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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