drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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