I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
