bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
ttyl tear gas
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
