I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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